Regrettably, I have started to let my true self show at my new job. Yesterday I was making a toasted sandwich in the kitchen. One of the team came in and said, “ooh are you making toasted sandwiches!?!” And I was like, “Well, no, I’m making myself a toasted sandwich… I really don’t want to become part of this culture of making each other lunch… it’s too much pressure… I just want to be free to do whatever I need to at lunchtime without having to worry about what everyone else is doing… it’s just not something I want to have to consider… I don’t want to be part of any ‘lunch club’…I managed to avoid that for 9 years in my last job… I just want to go for walks or to the shops and be free to do that without being tied down to anything…”
Wide eyed and silent the.whole.time as I just rambled on about how I refuse to be part of any form of community that makes me feel obliged to do anything at all, no matter how minor, he finally said “o…kay….”
He didn’t even ask me to make him a sandwich. He was probably just being friendly…
Well sir, I see your friendliness, and I raise you a rambling account of my inability to deal with even the most insignificant of expectations, real or perceived, placed upon me by society at large, or any individual. I will not be part of this prison of sandwich conformity. I will not engage in mutually beneficial exchanges or display cooperative behaviours at the expense of my freedom! And you need to know that, whether you were asking me to or not!
Frankly, they’re lucky to have me.